Ask Caleb: What Happens to His Cum When He Finishes Inside Me?

A bottomsplainer: the biology (and mess) of what really happens when someone ejaculates inside your ass.

Over the past few months, I’ve gotten a flood of emails, DMs, and late-night questions from guys who are curious about sex between men but don’t always know where to turn for answers. Some are shy, some are bold, and some are just plain horny, but all of them want the truth, not the boring, clinical version. That’s why I’m starting Ask Caleb: a column where I take your questions about gay sex, intimacy, and everything in between, and answer them the way I know best; with honesty, experience, and a wink.

To kick things off, I thought I’d start with a question that lands in my inbox more than you’d think. It came from 19-year-old Devin in Denver, who wrote in with the kind of curiosity most of us had at his age (and let’s be honest, plenty of us still do).

Before we get into it, a quick note: I’m a huge advocate for safe sex. I’m actively on PrEP, I test regularly, and I believe every guy deserves to feel both horny and healthy. So while we’re going to talk about cum and all the messy fun of being filled, know that I always approach these conversations with safety in mind.

“Caleb, when a guy nuts inside me … what actually happens to his cum? Does my body absorb it, or does it just leak out?”

I love this question because it’s one every bottom has thought about, but not everyone says out loud. And honestly? It’s one of my favorite things to explain, because it’s not just science; it’s experience. Let’s follow a load from the second he cums to the moment it inevitably leaks out, with a mix of biology and what it actually feels like in my body.