I used to think I was naturally good at giving head because I genuinely loved doing it.

Giving myself an A for enthusiasm here, but what I learned was that enthusiasm can also make you rush the experience. It turns pleasure into a performance, which can be hot, but only once you’ve actually mastered the act.

I’ll never forget the first guy who corrected me mid-suck.

With one hand resting under my chin, he pulled my mouth off of him, looked down at me, and said, “Slow down. You’re trying too hard.” My immediate internal response: Isn’t that the point?

I remember looking up at him, mildly offended and very aware that I was still on my knees. Then he showed me what he meant.

I began again. “Less pressure,” he whispered, guiding my hand into a rhythm that matched my mouth. When I found a flow that made his stomach tighten and his knees bend, he told me not to change it. Steady pace, not a desperate sprint to finish. Just continuous motion working him toward climax.

What started as an eagerness to impress became something much more useful: a genuine desire to figure out exactly what made him feel good and keep doing it. A practice I was more than willing to refine.

After spending all that time working for his load rather than demanding it through sheer force of enthusiasm, he rewarded me with a few warm pumps. Then he leaned down, kissed me with the evidence still on my lips, and said, “Much better.”

And honestly, it was better for me, too.

That was the first time I realized wanting to give a great blowjob and knowing how to give one are two very different things. The latter came with plenty of practice and some very generous feedback.

Here’s everything I’ve learned along the way about giving the kind of blowjob he’ll still be hard over tomorrow.

Ask Caleb: How to Give a Life-Changing Blow…

Comments on this post are for subscribers